atten HUT

I used to have some job, and I was buddies with a guy there. Every now and then we'd amuse ourselves by pranking people.

Somehow we came up with the idea that I was a Civil War re-enactor. A gay Civil War re-enactor. He went around telling people this. I didn't mind. Some of the people were sweet and extremely helpful, letting me know when Civil War events were planned in their towns.

I found an online group of actual gay Civil War re-enactors. Mostly it consisted of naked photos of really beefy guys in washtubs, which I'm okay with. Oh — and cigars for some reason.

One day I Photoshopped my face onto a group photo of Civil War-type people. It circulated in the office. Everything was cool until someone noticed I was wearing a wedding ring. Oopsk. So my buddy came up with this elaborate story that I had a dead lover and couldn't get past it. He told this to people.

It ceased being fun after that. I don't like going to the dead place if it isn't true. Very bad.

Then an enormously overweight woman sexually harrassed me and I lost my job! Damn it!